Monday, July 13, 2015

The Lack of Control

I am a planner. I have a google calendar that controls my life. I have lists and post it notes everywhere. I send myself reminders to my phones and email, so I don't miss appointments. I am not sure if I would have always been like this or if having to constantly juggle 7 different doctors, therapy appointments and constantly changing medicines have forced me to become a planner. Whenever I am stressed or overwhelmed, I plan. By organizing my life and planning my future, I am able to relax and de-stress. However, the lack of control and inability to plan in my current situation is very hard for me! My husband just says, "relax, it will happen when it happens." But I can't! I know there are many parts of my life in the future that I won't be able to plan and I guess I will just have to "let it happen, when it happens.." Maybe tomorrow, I can make a plan to stop planning...

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